Saturday, July 6, 2013

The missing

I miss Thunder like crazy. That’s the truth. I try to act like I am over it, to pretend that I’m not brokenhearted anymore, and life is back to normal. But I am so empty on the inside sometimes. Sometimes, like tonight.

Every evening as it begins to set, the porch light flickers and reminds me of her. Most of the time I feel delighted to think of her, to imagine she is thinking of me and of us, of our lives together. Sometimes I even say aloud “Hi Thunder!” But on occasion the light flickers and I am grief-stricken. It’s odd. The light is off just now. It doesn’t usually go off and stay off. It’s almost like she is comprehending my sadness and sharing it with me at this very moment.

This morning my sister and I chatted about our lives here on earth, and pondered on the possibilities of heaven. Thunder was the absolute best dog ever. She was easy going, you could walk her anywhere and never have a problem, and I wish I’d walked her more. She gave Rafa more attention than I do! She was the invisible heartbeat of our house. If heaven doesn’t contain Thunder, I want no part of it.

Tonight I am thinking of my sweet little girl, and I miss her like crazy. Please light, flicker back on – remind me that everything is alright.



  1. Awwww Mari, How did I miss this? I had no idea you said goodbye to Thunder. I wish I had known you were going through this, I would have reached out to you.

    This is a beautiful piece and it brought tears to my eyes. Thunder will always be in your heart and your heart and soul belong in heaven. I wish I could give you a hug right now.

    I will walk my girls more now. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Sorry to hear this, Mari ! I've been thinking of Jill and how much she misses Alex . They were together 17 years also, that's a really long time! I know anything I say or do cannot fill that void . Maybe, just maybe, it's Thunder's way of saying "it's time for another dog " Mama. Maybe she knows how much Henry misses her and needs another companion ? Each dog takes a piece of our heart and I guess when we reach Heaven, our hearts will be whole again ! I hope the light will soon be flickering again....Hugs to you !

  3. Thank you so much Gloria!

    Love, Mari (and Henry)